crinkly_ears | Merry Mesut: Happy Humzil! (Reply)

(Actually, it was my intent to do these is numerical order, meaning this should have been Howedes' post, but Mats was being so goddamn pushy in the Neuer post I had no choice but to cover this one first.)

Ladies (and gentleman? gentlemen?), I present to you die Mannschaft's most ridiculously photogenic player ... Mats "My GOD I AM beautiful, aren't I?" Hummels!

Say whaaaaat? Those last two AREN'T Hummels? Well, colour me unconvinced!

Truth be told Hummels sort of came out of nowhere, as far as I was concerned. I didn't follow any club level football at the time and I only heard about him at the start of Euro 2012 when everyone was praising him as one of the best center-backs in the tournament. From a technical standpoint, he is indeed an excellent defender with superb tackling abilities (Ramos, TAKE NOTES!) and an eye for heading away any danger from Manu's goals. Like Neuer and Özil (and Sami, and Boateng, and Howedes), he too played on Germany's U21 squad that won the 2009 championship against England.

Had a hard time deciding in which spam to post these, but since Hummels is practically spooning with Özil I figured it counts more as Humzil than anything else. Still, you can argue it's also Neuezil and Samisut. Sorry, Howie. You'll have to wait until the next spam for your turn.

He sure is doing his darnest to keep that shoulder and hip between Mesut and Bennie.

God, were these two just destined to play against one another at club level?

So, what can be said about Humzil? This is another bromance where there aren't as many pics of them interacting as, say, Samisut, but, unsurprisingly, they seem casual enough around each other. Indeed, one of the most poignant pics of the end of Germany's Euro 2012 campaign for me is this ...

Sami holding out a hand to help an utterly defeated Mesut up set all Samisut fangirls' hearts a flutter, but Mats placing a comforting hand on the back of the head while giving his wrist an encouraging squeeze was just as sweet.
I do recall him listening closely to Özil's instructions during the second half of the match ...

"See, when Italy start going forward it's your job to, you know, stop them ... "

"No, seriously, Balotelli only needs THIS much space to bury the ball at the back of the net."

( ... NO, I WILL NEVER LET THAT GO! GODDAMN, GERMANY, YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE IN THE FINALS!! I wasn't even this upset when Holland crashed out in the group stage! Mats, why you let Balotelli just skip past you like that?! You were doing so well throughout the whole tournament! You were supposed to win and get payback on Spain for 2008!! WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?)

Speaking of my fellow Dutchies, here they are being owned by Germany, courtesy of Mesut ...

Yes, Nigel, you stand there and think about what you did (to Xabi) while Hummels congratulates Mesut on extending their lead 3-0!

Let's go back to the winning-est part of Euro 2012, right after their victory of Portugal. I know Mesut covers his mouth when speaking on the pitch to prevent nosy people from reading his lips, but is it just me or does that make you all the more curious to know what he's saying? I mean, surely no one would make a big deal out of "You played great" or "Soy muy feliz we won!", so whenever he cups his lips I like to think he's trash-talking and doesn't want us to know XD

(Gods, Höwedes, you're as bad as Mats! WAIT. YOUR. TURN.)

Oh, and btw ... RANDOM SHIRTLESS MESUT!!

Still haven't sorted through all my pics yet. I honestly wonder if this boy's been half naked around all the bromantic interests I plan on posting. Would make for a much appreciate recurring theme :)

Is it just me, or does Özil look petite next to anyone? Again, he's not a short guy, and guys like Sami and Mats are tall, but still he just looks so ... small when surrounded by team mates.

"Tongue. Ear. Tongue. Ear. Tongue. Eyes. Tongue. Tongue. Mario's hand. Tongue. Eyes. Ears."
-- my mind

As seen in the Neuezil post, Mats too was in the Nutella commercial, though I think he's more interested in advertising Mesut than the product itself ...

"Free with every jar of nutella: an awkward sexy Mesut pose!"
(Höwedes, seriously, I'm warning you ... )

In training ...

"What's that, Sami? Give him back? Do I look like Benzema to you?"

"Mats, have you seen Sami?"
"Er ... no." *shifty eyes*

This is technically a Samisut gif, but I'll include it here because when I first saw it I thought Hummels was trolling the both of them behind their backs! ... Then I realized he was just warming up. He puzzled both Sami and Mesut as well, as they kept looking back as if to say, "Wtf are you doing back there?" XD

Peekaboo! ... Peekaboo! ... Peekaboo!

HEY NOW! None of that! There are kids in the stands!

I really keep expecting Höwedes to pop up again in here somewhere ...

Is feeling yourself up part of every warm-up routine, or is that simply Mesut-induced?

Borussia Dortmund and Real Madrid survived the Group of Death, but it sure was a cagey couple matches, especially for a Madrid fan. The only thing I was looking forward to were Mesut and Sami interacting with their national team mates.

Is it even physically possible for Mats NOT to look like he's five seconds away from ravaging you ... ?

Poor Sami went and re-injured his thigh twenty minutes into the first leg, leaving Mesut as the sole German against their fellow nationals.

"Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand!
-- my mind
"Actually, it's probably just the camera angle that makes it look like he's touching him ..."
-- my common sense
"Shut up! Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand!"
-- my mind again

"Draw me like one of your stunning 2nd leg free kick equalizers!"

This reminds me: WHY haven't they made playing football in yoga pants mandatory yet?? >:(

I would have loved to have seen what Sami's on-pitch reaction would have been to Hummels uncharacteristically awkward tackle on Mesut. Probably wouldn't have been too peeved since he knows Hummels is ever the gentleman ...

"Aw shit. I broke him! Löw's gonna kill me ... "
(And, again: YOGA PANTS! NAOW!!)

Methinks Ramos didn't like this tender moment one bit, however, because during the 2nd leg, after Özil scored the equalizer from a free kick, both Sergio and Mats ran to retrieve the ball and Sergio outright SHOVED Mats into the net! XD XD

Am not even sure he apologized because he then just grabbed the ball and went roaring down the pitch to smother Mesut. Boy, who would have thought bromancing could be such a bitchy occupation?

But, like so many others, whenever Mesut scores Hummels is eager to celebrate--