crinkly_ears | While waiting for tonight's derby ... (Reply)

(My, it's sure been quiet here lately. Is everyone actually out living their lives and getting stuff done while I just sit here thinking up random posts??)

I never used MySpace. I don't understand Twitter. I made an LJ account four or five years ago because some of my friends had one. I made me a Facebook account some months back, to look up and confirm most of my old classmates are indeed still in the world of the living, but now its solely used as a quick log-in route to other websites like 9gag. And while I now highly enjoy Tumblr, its workings still baffle me. So I'm not the most online savvy person out there, you get me?

Also, while I enjoy visiting blogs/websites like this one, I honestly am not interested in following celebrities online, not even our lovely boys from Real. Like I said, Tumblr provides me with enough goodies to sate my needs (as well as provide some great laughs at their expense), so I don't follow Özil on Twitter or Facebook. Also, I doubt he actually posts those messages himself. The whole four languages and set-up look too calculated, as though it's the work of a PR (or whatever relative whose job that is), so ...

HOWEVER, I recently stumbled across a Facebook account that's so damn entertaining it might convert me! Unsurprisingly, it's this guy's:

... God, I love you. Underage prostitute hoopla aside, isn't he just the picture of awkward innocence? And unlike Özil, I do believe Benz personally manages his Facebook account. He posted this ahead of tonight's derby:

Which got me thinking: "Gosh, this man ... Is every photo in which he TRIES to look sexy this hilarious?" So I shuffled on over to his Facebook and HOLY JUMPING BEANS ON A TRAMPOLINE! It's a goldmine of duckface kitty delish!!

Well, maybe he's on to something because it really attracts the chicks ...

(Hell, am so desperate for poor Benz to find a steadfast hubby I'll take whatever he can gets. I christen this Chickim.)

I've heard tales of his infamous love of taking corny pics of himself, but never could I have imagined ... I just picture him in his room, holding aloft his phone and trying to find his best sexy angle, taking multiple snaps and yet somehow unintentionally picking the goofiest to share with the whole wide worldwide audience.

And while many try to hide the fact that they're obviously snapping pics of themselves; pretending that it were "candid" shots taken by someone else, Benz's are so obvious you can always see the arm holding the phone. And as much as I hate the generic Real Madrid thumbs-up pose, Benz's attempts at looking gangsta makes my black heart go all gooey.

I think I've discovered who to blame for this habit (along with other less innocent ones ... )

Caught in the act! Oh, Franck, you weirdo.

(OH NO! THIS IS AN ÖZIL SITE AND THIS POST IS LACKING PLENTY OF ÖZIL!! Gotta balance it out:

Phew! Crisis averted. And like I said earlier, see how handsome Benz looks when he's being all natural? Someone confiscate this boy's phone now!)

I like to think that the four following pics were the culmination of an entire evening (straight up until bedtime) of Benz walking about the room, pouting at his phone and tilting his head this way and that ...

Also, Benz's use of headphones puzzle me:

They're always lopsided. You could argue that he does so to keep one ear uncovered, but considering how dorky he can be I wouldn't put it past him to walk around like that because he thinks it looks badass. Maybe his off-balanced headwear was inspired by this: